Dad Jokes (Part Two)

A while back, I wrote a piece about what dads call “humor,” but what everyone else calls “Dad Humor.” These are admittedly corny jokes and puns that often aren’t as funny as they are goofy, but that’s exactly the secret to making them work: you have to embrace the goofy. To be clear, I’m not talking about the Goofy we know from Disney World. Don’t embrace him. I did that once. Let’s just say security didn’t take kindly to it. And neither did Goofy! I’m talking about letting yourself be corny and ridiculous for the benefit of your children… even if they pretend they’re embarrassed by it. Let yourself be an idiot! A lot of what qualify as Dad Jokes are actually pretty funny, but what really makes them funny is the dad who’s willing to look silly if it means making his family happy.

Dad: Knock knock.
Kid: Who’s there?
Dad: Ach.
Kid: Ach who?
Dad: Gazuntite!

I think people are born with a sense of humor. Even a baby is going to laugh when he sees you get a pie in the face. There’s just something about two eyes sticking out from behind a mask of whipped cream that humans have always inherently known is funny. At least since the invention of whipped cream.

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?
Where’s Pop Corn?

What did one hat say to the other?
Stay here! I’m going on a head.

Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.

The secret—and it’s not much of a secret—is to make it clear to your kids that you think these jokes are hilarious. It’s never too early to teach them the importance of “selling it.” Oh, they’ll roll their eyes. No question about it. But they’ll pick up on your sincerity. They’ll pick up on your confidence. And they’ll begin to see the value of both. They’ll see you not worrying about if you “fail,” and they’ll learn to take chances, and maybe even have fun doing it.

Why didn’t the skeleton climb the mountain?
It didn’t have the guts.

I used to play piano by ear.
Now I use my hands.

Why can’t you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the ‘P’ is silent.

I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed!

Remember the knock knock joke at the beginning of this piece?
Who’s there? Ach. Ach who?
My kids and I thought of that ourselves. There’s a good chance it already actually existed, but none of us had heard it before, so technically, we made it up… together.
So, we decided to try to make up a few more (that probably already existed as well.)

Dad: Knock knock
Kid: Who’s there?
Dad: I’m up.
Kid: I’m up who?
Dad: Ha! You said “I’m a poo!”

Dad: Knock knock
Kid: Who’s there?
Dad: Toot.
Kid: Toot who?
Dad: What are you, a ballerina?

Kid: Knock knock.
Dad: Who’s there?
Kid: Chooch.
Dad: Chooch who?
KId: Did you hear a train?

Suddenly my kids were the ones telling the dad jokes!
So, the next time somebody gives you a hard time about telling a dad joke, smile in their face and tell them another one.
Remember: laughter is the best medicine.
Unless you have a headache.
Then you should probably take some Advil.

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