First jobs shape you and Louis Chabrier, our Lead Dad of the Week, credits his was making him an involved parent. Right out of college, he worked as a social worker in Los Angeles, helping at-risk youths in residential treatment centers and on the streets.
“I worked in social work for a long time,” said Louis, who now lives in Scottsdale, Az. “I saw some very dark things from doing so much work with children in the social work system. I said someone was going to stay home, and at that point, my wife was making double what I was making so it made no sense for her to stay home.”
That was in 2001 when resources for fathers who devoted all their time to their families were scarce. His own family, both in New Jersey and Puerto Rico, scarcely understood what their son was doing.
“It was all these masculinity issues. Everyone thought I f’ed up at work and that’s why I was at home.”
Instead, he threw himself into the role and created a group called Scottsdale Stay-At-Home Dads. Some of his best friends are from that time.
When his son and daughter went to school, he studied for his series 7 and 66 and started working for a financial advisor whose office was right next to the school.
“In the meantime, my wife has continued to excel,” he said. “But she got a lot of crap in the workforce. Aren’t you nurturing? Why don’t you want to be home with your kids? They questioned her femininity and her commitment to her family. We were in roles that were not traditional. It was hard.”
These days he’s gone back to his roots and is applying his social work and counseling background as a coach for fathers. His firm Bummock Coaching – look up the word! – is thriving.
As for lessons? He said it was a mixed bag. “When I look at my children and my family, I take away a real sense of pride,” he said. “We chose to make them a priority and put them first. I’ll look back and be proud of raising my kids. But I’m never going to get the best of anything award like my wife does at work. I’m never going to get into the newspaper for what I do.”
As he approaches 60, he still has a focus to affect change with men. “I love working with Lead Dads,” he said. “I’m trying to make the world better because until men start talking openly, we have a problem.”
Thanks for what you do, Louis. Welcome to The Company of Dads.
