“In any team sport to be successful you have different people doing different things,” said Scott Vanderwall, our Lead Dad of the Week from Wilton, CT. “I was a soccer goalkeeper. My job was not to let the other team score goals. I approached my relationship with my wife that way.”
“In the beginning, we were grinding,” he said. “Then I looked at what do we need. We need money. Who was better at making money? She was when she went to Bridgewater. Then I looked at childcare. We needed that. So I focused on that.”
Along with their son and daughter, Scott began to refer to their family as Team Jen. “We could share everything 50/50 but that’s not efficient,” he said. “Instead, I said, these are the things that need to get done and who is best to do them. It saved us arguments. It wasn’t who is picking up the kids today. I knew that. Her job is to make money, kick a$s and book family travel. My job is everything else.”
It wasn’t always like this. Scott began as a community banker and his wife was working in human resources. Their careers were equal, and they divided up childcare.
But then she got a job at MasterCard and later at Bridgewater, the world’s largest hedge fund and the ultimate all-in job. So, Scott put his hand up to be the Lead Dad who focused all his time on the family. His bank manager didn’t believe him – he had just had his best year ever. But Scott was all-in. He was thinking about his team, not himself.
Thirteen years later he hasn’t looked back.
“Because I look at the team perspective, this never bothered me,” Scott said. “If you find the best goal scorer on your team, you say you just go do that. I’ll find someone else to play defense. Because I had that mindset nothing was too menial. I was fine dropping off her dry cleaning. I was fine getting her shoes fixed.”
With that team mentality, they’re winning. And by the way, Scott is applying these skills as an actual college soccer coach, at Post University. Go Eagles – and welcome, Scott, to The Company of Dads.
