There’s no get-better-at-work message here.
It’s more about listening. And more precisely talking ourselves into listening before we answer when work and parenting calls at the same time.
This week my youngest daughter had three days of out-of-school testing. I’m taking her because my schedule is easier to shuffle around, and as long as I have my MacBook I can keep working in pretty much any lobby.
It’s not the calendar jenga. I’ve pretty much cleared it except for the hours I know she’ll be in testing. We have a morning routine. A plan for the testing. And then, well, what?
I didn’t make any afternoon meetings because I wasn’t sure. There wasn’t a grand plan here.
On the first day, she asked on our way about where we’d go for lunch. I said I didn’t know and asked where she wanted to go. She picked sweetgreen and already knew the kids’ bowl she wanted. Good by me.
Then she wanted to walk. So, we walked all around the town, and I introduced her to the concept of window shopping – that old look but don’t buy adage. (Truth be told we picked up some Mother’s Day gifts.) But mostly we walked – a good two hours of going round and round – punctuated by a Pink Drink at Starbucks.
We both liked this.
On day two, she had a plan from the get-go. It came at me fast and focused. Lunch was so good the day before that we returned to Sweetgreen. And then she wanted to replicate the shopping stroll. But I wanted to watch my middle daughter’s lacrosse game, so we cut it short.
I thought the day was done. But then my youngest, a master negotiator, began testing out options to avoid going to her swim lesson. To be fair, it was one of those spring days with temps touching 80. But – sunk cost vs opportunity cost – we’d signed her up for this swimming program so wanted her to go.
“Can we go play golf instead?”
I’m a firm parent – until it involves something I love to do!
I said yes. But I thought we’d go for 20 minutes, eat more M&Ms than we’d hit golf balls and head home for dinner. I was fine with that.
Instead I was stunned when she asked if we could take a cart and go out on the course. We’d eat dinner later, she said.
My initial inclination was to say no. We needed to go home for dinner.
But did we? I wasn’t going to add anything to Taco Tuesday prep. Why couldn’t we stay?
I couldn’t come up with a good answer not to stay longer. So we took a cart out on the golf course and played nearly 6 holes together.
It was Hallmark Channel beautiful, with the sun setting, the wind blowing and lots of amazing light around the fun that we were having.
Here’s what today reminded me: When there’s no reason to say no other than it’s the easiest thing to say, don’t say it.
