Uncertainty abounds – in the economy, with trade, around jobs. It’s something working parents are acutely aware of.
Uncertainty is never a good state to exist in. When you know for sure that something is going to happen – good or bad – you can make a plan and work toward executing it. When one day is super good but you worry that the next two days could be super bad, you’re stuck. And that’s when uncertainty arises. Will it be more predictable tomorrow?
The recent uncertainty in America has me thinking about how working parents have long dealt with uncertainty at work and at home.
If there’s one thing I dread as a Lead Dad – and I’m sure I share with other working parents – it’s uncertainty. I dread it more than just about anything other than lice!
Uncertainty is kryptonite. It throws into disarray our carefully cultivated life balance, of dropping off and picking up and doing work and homework while working as if we didn’t have caregiving responsibilities.
For many Lead Dads, that Clark Kent-to-Superman dynamic of kryptonite is a sad but apt analogy – and not for any presumption of superpowers. It’s because so many men feel they have to remain undercover as Lead Dads, that somehow speaking up honestly about their role at home is going to diminish them at work and hurt future prospects.
When we can plan, we can do all the things that need to get done. Our kids know we’re there. Our spouse knows we’re sharing the mental load. Our managers are fine because we got everything done.
Yet when that plan gets hit with uncertainly, it can teeter and break. I’m not talking about a sick kid. That happens to everyone. I’m thinking more about a crisis at home or at work or something that pulls your attention away from what you were doing. In other words, something that wasn’t slotted into the Jenga stack of the day.
This happened to me recently as I was working to get the word out about a truly affirming news segment on ABC News’ Nightline did that included me. It was shot in December and aired in April, so we had been planning for it.
The day after it aired was full-on getting the word out to as many people as I could. But by the afternoon, stuff I hadn’t planned for at home came up and threw off my work rhythm. Who we thought was driving couldn’t. A kid’s game was canceled. Nothing bad or unusual for any working parent. But my schedule was thrown off by uncertainty – could I be there for my wife and kids and still get everything done in this remarkable moment of positive coverage?
I took a breath and reminded myself: This is a long game. Keep focused. Control what you can control.
How do you get through times of uncertainty?
