Looking back on past holidays, I’ve often felt like a spectator, swept away by the chaos of gift shopping and meal preparation for get-togethers. However, I’ve seen the light and this year, things will change. Dads with young families need to fully embrace the season, beyond just showing up. They need to be active participants in creating lasting family memories. To truly be present means balancing your workload with joy and togetherness. Here are some tips.
Presence Over Presents
Place yourself in the position of a father who cannot be with his children over the holiday period and realize how lucky you are to enjoy such a privilege. Being apart from your kid is hard on you and the child at any time, but even more so during the holidays. Separation over the festive season can lead to an increase in anxiety, stress and depression, so be thankful and make the most of your time spent together.
While extravagant gifts certainly have their charm, the true essence of holiday time is in the moments you spend with your loved ones. More than anything else, young kids thrive on the emotional availability of their parents.
If you are a dad who’ll be missing his kids these holidays, stay connected in the ways you can. Show your children that you’re still present with regular video and phone calls so they know you’re missing them and love them.
Share in the Holiday Planning
Play an essential part in planning the practical and logistical aspects of the holidays. Be an equal partner in the planning process by involving the rest of your family, including discussions about gifts and expenses. Households anticipate spending an average of $1,652 this holiday season – from gifts to experiences and other shopping – so speak to your kids about their expectations over the festive season.
In that way, you’ll be truly present, reducing holiday stress and going a long way toward avoiding disappointment at gift-giving time. Discussing budgeting ensures that no one is overwhelmed by costs. Suggest ways to balance gift shopping, meals and outings with your kids to come up with a balanced budget that fits in all the expenses and still ensures a good time and some worthy gifting. Brainstorming creative solutions will make those special holidays even more fun and memorable for everybody.
Make Time for Connection
Try to forget the other stuff. Spending the holidays with my kids means personal hobbies and activities must take a back seat. Amid the holiday chaos, scheduling family time — and lots of it — is the best way to create meaningful connections and show you’re there for them above all else.
Share meals, enjoy game nights, build castles or forts together or just have some quiet moments in front of a fire. These interactions strengthen our bonds, so lead the way by prioritizing these gatherings to create spaces for open conversations and laughter. Nurture that emotional connection that will develop well beyond the holiday season. Intentional time together is what cultivates memories that we all treasure.
Be There By Being Aware
Be fair with yourself. As dads, we want to be present because we love our kids unconditionally, but also because their growth and development are of the utmost importance. You don’t have to be perfect, but be present to tune in to your kid’s feelings, noticing their emotions and responding with care and true dedication.
The bond you grow together will build their confidence and help them handle their emotions, putting to rest any fears they might have that you’re only there out of duty. Be present — your child will know when you are.
Jack Shaw is the senior lifestyle writer at Modded and a single father with a special interest in navigating the ins and outs of being a parent. As fathers, the work we put in isn’t always recognized, but it’s absolutely essential to the health and well-being of our children. You can find more of Jack’s work in publications like Tiny Buddha, Daddy’s Digest, Parent.com and more. Contact him via LinkedIn.
