Do you know what your spouse does around the house? Does he or she know what you do? How much do your work schedules influence what you can do?
A lot of couples don’t know, and not knowing has never been a recipe for marital bliss – or professional success. (How can you focus at work when there is discord at home?)
I’ve been talking about The Paper Test at companies and using it with couples for several years now.
What is it? A simple, quick test to help couples cut through built-up resentment and realign expectations at home. It can be done in an hour or less on a weekend afternoon, and it will show both people who does what and what needs to be changed.
One thing that’s 100 percent guaranteed? Those two lists will never be the same at the start. (You can download it for free here: https://mailchi.mp/fc4a7a86cdb9/19bazsavrt
This past week we tested the Guidebook version of The Paper Test with a group of Lead Dads willing to take it, share it and discuss what it means.
Takeaway: We had some selection bias. The men who opted in to try this out, to see how they could get better at managing and communicating things with their spouse were already Lead Dads. They were on top of this.
One said, “Whenever my wife calls me stressed at work, I want to work harder.” No slouch – he has a slew of Emmy Awards to his credit.
Another said: “I recognize that there are certain things I like done in a certain way, so I just do them. I think we have a good division of labor.” He’s an acclaimed musician who has taught at the collegiate level.
Lead Dads are not men who fell back into the role; they’re men who chose it – and are leading the charge in their communities and in their companies to be accepted for being the go-to parents.
I know this. There’s hard data supporting that a third of all fathers, some 25 million men in the U.S., are Lead Dads. Of course, that leaves some 50 million men who are not.
I’d like your help to circulate The Paper Test more widely – in your homes and communities, in your office and through your corporate networks.
We want to get it before couples that don’t have Lead Dads, that have Working Moms who are trying to have a more productive conversation with their spouses before the frustration builds up further. We’d also like to get Lead Dads who feel under-appreciated to take it with their spouses so what they’ve been doing gets recognized.
The download is free.
What will you get? An easy, quick way to know where you stand. The chance to reset expectations and lower frustration. Greater understanding and the start of a new start.
What do we ask? Let us know how it went. Tell us where the biggest gaps were. Help us help more people.
