Fathers will go to the ends of the earth to give their children a quality education. That’s why most parents fear hearing that their kids are struggling in class. As a father of a newly minted preschooler, I get anxious whenever I imagine my son coming home with a long face and somehow mustering the courage to tell me he had failing grades.
I’ve been that kid — a young student who did poorly at school. Now that I’m in my big man’s shoes, I intend to do everything possible to help my child. Use these tips if your little student is going through a rough patch.
Speak With Teachers
Go straight to the source. Teachers appreciate parents who care about their children’s academic performance, especially when they’re not doing as well as expected. They’re generally willing to speak with you to break down your kid’s less-than-stellar grades and explore ways to improve them.
Express Emotional Validation
Be a listener. Supportive parents act like cheerleaders for their children by instinct. Although saying words of encouragement can be powerful, acknowledging feelings of disappointment, sadness and frustration is more helpful.
Ignoring the elephant in the room can make your effort to console your distressed student seem disingenuous. Inspirational responses sound like empty talk — even if you mean them — without first validating your kid’s insecurities.
Acknowledge your child’s difficulties so they can feel heard. Then, express empathy by reassuring them that what they’re going through is temporary and promising you’ll be there for them.
Repackage Struggles
Put things into perspective. Failing to do something they must or want to do can be upsetting to driven pupils. Grappling with tricky subjects can cast doubt on their intelligence, which may contradict their self-image.
Although you want to see your child not take bad grades sitting down, you also want them to have a healthy view of hardship. Explain that everybody struggles with something at some point because nobody’s good at everything. Realizing that encountering setbacks is part of the human condition can keep your child from being overly critical and feel at peace.
Cultivate a Growth Mindset
Tell your little one that traits, qualities and abilities aren’t fixed and are products of hard work. While genetics may influence strengths and weaknesses, your child can grow emotionally, psychologically and socially if they apply themself. Instilling a growth mindset in your young one can motivate them to work on their flaws and strive to improve.
Help With Homework
Get involved with your child’s responsibilities as a student at home. Academically embattled pupils may dread homework when dealing with challenging subjects and tasks alone.
Extend a helping hand to lighten your kid’s burden. Teachers advise against parents doing their children’s homework and assignments. However, they applaud fathers who get positively involved with the activity. Bonding over homework can also bring you and your child closer, encouraging them to be more forthcoming about their life moving forward.
Personalize Learning
Give your child more agency in their education. Everybody learns various subjects differently. Sadly, public and private schools’ standardized assessments may favor students who excel in more rigid curricula while punishing pupils who respond negatively to schoolwork with low grades.
If conventional approaches to education don’t suit your kid’s needs, explore personalized learning options like mentorship or tutoring to complement classroom experiences.
Evaluate the School
If your child’s academic struggles persist, push your school district to run tests to scan for learning differences like dyslexia. There are estimates that 40 million adults in the U.S. have dyslexia but only 2 million receive a diagnosis. If testing shows a learning difference, push your school district to create an Individualized Education Plan, or IEP. If that isn’t enough consider enrolling your child in a school that specializes in educating kids with learning differences. In some cases the school district will pay at least part of the tuition.
In other instances, homeschooling may be the better model for your child and family. The United States has 2.7 million homeschooled children — a testament that the model works for those who don’t fit into the education system.
Help Your Child Overcome Academic Struggles
Failing grades should never be an indictment of young students. While many school-age children are too hard on themselves when they underperform or underachieve academically, these tips help end this unproductive mindset and put your kid in the best position to succeed.
Jack Shaw is the senior lifestyle writer at Modded with and a single father with a special interest in navigating the ins and outs of being a parent. As fathers, the work we put in isn’t always recognized, but it’s absolutely essential to the health and well-being of our children. You can find more of Jack’s work in publications like Tiny Buddha, Daddy’s Digest, Parent.com and more. Contact him via LinkedIn.
