Being a Lead Dad doesn’t mean going it alone with all things family, be they at work or home. It means being a team player.
It’s an answer I have to give often when guys are hesitant to step forward as Lead Dads. These are guys who are helping out at home, but they’re hesitant to put their hand up as Lead Dads. They’ll often say, “I’m a co-Lead Dad” or “My wife does so much too. I’m not doing all of this.”
Exactly.
Anybody who is even thinking in those terms, of how he is sharing the logistics of life at home, is likely a Lead Dad. For one, I’ve never talked to an Event Dad who has the same sort of soul searching around what he is or isn’t doing. More often, he’ll say, “I leave all that stuff to my wife.”
Let me give an example from our life this week. On Monday, I was set to take my father to a series of doctors’ appointments in New York City that we had scheduled for more than a month. Over the weekend, though, my youngest daughter got fit for this amazing hearing device that helps filter out the distracting ambient noise in the classroom. Well, I thought it was amazing; she wasn’t so sure since like any elementary school student she didn’t want to stick out.
I was the one who knew how they worked and could show the school and later in the day the speech therapist; I was also the one whose responsibility it was to take my dad into the city. I couldn’t be two places at once. As I was trying to figure this out, my wife, whose job is far less flexible than mine and very demanding and time intensive, volunteered to take my dad into the city.
“You need to be out here to set up the hearing aides,” she said. “I don’t mind taking your dad into the city. I’ll bring my computer and catchup on emails.”
That’s teamwork. That’s a Working Mom and a Lead Dad figuring it out.
None of us can do it all alone. We need a team, at home and hopefully at work, too.
