It was a logical, even easy decision, for Victor Wong and his wife to decide that he would take up the Lead Dad role in their home. It has been harder for their families to accept.
“Both my wife and I are Asian,” said Victor, our Lead Dad of the Week from Bethesda, Md. “Our parents hammered into us that you go to school, you learn and then you earn. It’s been strange for us. Only this year we’ve gotten more comfortable in this role.”
He added: “My parents are critical of this role. Her parents are confused as to how this works.”
Victor grew up in Louisville, Ky., and went to Perdue University where he studied business. From there he began an internship at Morgan Stanley that led to a career in banking and later in executive recruiting. His wife has been working at American Express for over 15 years in increasingly senior and demanding roles.
Their son is now 8 and Victor says he wouldn’t have imagined himself being a Lead Dad growing up. It just made sense with how their careers evolved. These days, he does deals in the financial adviser space but they can take months to develop so he has the flexibility to work around his son’s schedule. His wife, on the other hand, is free to take meetings or travel without worrying about the schedule at home.
“Our son is seeing these different roles being modeled,” Victor said. “His mom doesn’t have to be in the kitchen. She’s a high-powered financial services executive.”
He jokes that it’s changed his group of tennis friends. Where he used to play tennis with dads his age, he’s become more popular with retirees.
“A lot of the guys I gravitate to are in their 40s and 50s, very established men, so when they ask me what I’m doing, I get these funny eyes,” he said. “The 60 year-olds – they think it’s cool that I’m available on Tuesday or Wednesday to play tennis. Just the other day I was out playing with a 60 year-old gentleman near my son’s school after I dropped him off.”
At the end of the day, Victor said: “This was a better life for our son and myself and now my wife. It’s elevated everyone in the household and how we looked at the world.”
Welcome, Victor, to The Company of Dads. And don’t let up on the tennis court!
