Being a Lead Dad is not a binary decision, either 18 years or nothing. It’s fluid and often dependent on whose career is busier in that moment.
Joseph Pennini, who spent 25 years working at Brown Brothers Harriman before taking a buy-out, is embracing his ability to be a Lead Dad now. With him working from home now, his wife Kathianne is able to ramp up her legal career, while he is able to be the go-to parent for their four children, ranging from college bound to youth-sports busy.
Joe, who lives in Wrentham, Mass., not too far from the home of the New England Patriots, commuted and traveled for most of his kids’ lives. It’s what they and he knew. But with flexible office-home work schedules came a different experience with the couple’s youngest daughter, now 10, who got to have her father around more.
HIs garden leave, which began in October, has been an adjustment for everyone. For one, Joe, who had been a leader at BBH’s parenting employee resource group, can make more time-intensive commitments now. He began coaching his son’s basketball team. He’s taking a lead in the driving of his two younger daughters. And that parental involvement has freed up his wife Kathianne.
“I like structures and operations,” he said. “The laundry, the dinner for the night – it’s fun getting everything in sync. Then I have networking calls. By 230, 3pm every day I try to shut down. We’re at the fields almost every day from Monday to Sunday. Then we get back and everything we’ve prepped for dinner, we get it going. There’s just a lot that gets down every day in a good way.”
“In the past everything looked so rushed,” he added. “You’re always waiting for that next client call. Or a meeting coming out of thin air. I always worried if I was there mentally as well as physically.”
As someone going through a career and parenting shift, Joe has advice for other fathers who find themselves in a similar situation. “The first thing that hit me is you can’t get the time back with the kids,” he said. “I think I did a good time being physically present, if not mentally present. Now when I go to the games I leave my phone in the car. I’m there for them.”
“The other is no one starts and stops at the same firm anymore,” he said. “Now I realize people make transitions every six to eight years. You’re not going through this alone.”
Wise words, Joe. Welcome to The Company of Dads!
