If there is one thing Dr. Ramon Jacobs-Shaw, a father of twins in Wilton, CT, would tell his younger self, it’s keep dreaming and keep aspiring to what you want.
“I didn’t have any role models as a same sex parent, nowhere, not growing up,” said Dr. Ramon who grew up in rural North Carolina.
“I’d say to myself you’re going to grow up wanting the things you want most in your life and you’ll be able to have it. You just have to keep dreaming and aspiring to it. When you put it out there, it’s like the universe replies to it.”
Dr. Ramon wanted to be a pediatrician – nurturing and caring like his mother was to him. Four decades ago, he never imagined he’d be able to marry a man and have two children of their own.
He went to college and medical school at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and then to Harvard Medical School to do his residency. He became double board certified in pediatrics and internal medicine and began a career caring for children, adults and the elderly. He lived in Boston, Los Angeles and New York. Today he is the chief clinical officer at Belong Health.
There are still slights that he and his husband Hopeton Shaw brush off. But it’s the everyday indignities heaped on all dads that he’s pushing back against.
“In these various circles where we navigate, no one ever speaks of the dads and what the dads are doing and how dads can be involved with anything,” he said. “If you ever told me before the boys came along about how overlooked dads are at daycare, in school, on the playground, out shopping, all these places where kids are around, I don’t know if I would have believed you.”
Father drives his life now. “I find this to be the most fun thing I’ve done in the course of my 48 years,” Dr. Ramon said. “It doesn’t mean we don’t get tired and pull our hair out from time to time. Being a father brings me joy. Just when I thought I had purpose in life, the boys came along, and I know this is my true purpose. All the other stuff was to prepare me for this.”
Welcome, Dr. Ramon, to The Company of Dads! Hear more about Dr. Ramon’s story, on Episode 7 of the Bright Horizons Work Life Equation podcast.
