Here’s some work advice for Lead Dads: be transparent and honest with your employer – even if you’re starting a new job.
That’s what Nokware Knight, our Lead Dad of the Week from Bridgeport, CT, did when he was hired to teach at a prestigious independent school in central Connecticut. He had been working as an educator, tutor and curriculum creator for years. Then, as his son was getting settled into elementary school, he began looking for a permanent teaching role.
To do that, though, he knew he had to be home when his son got off the bus at 4pm. His partner is an attorney for the state and her schedule, with court cases, is more rigid.
So he was honest, and the school worked with him. He arrives early – while his partner is getting their son ready for his school – and then he makes sure he’s home by 4pm when the bus drops their son off at home. One day a week, Nokware stays late.
“There’s no way I could have taken the job if there wasn’t that flexibility,” he said.
It all started with honesty in his relationship at home. When his partner gave birth to their son, she was home for six months but knew she wanted to start her law career. So he volunteered to use his background in math and financial planning to work around their son’s care. Local libraries, with a plethora of young kid classes, were a godsend.
He faced the tired challenges of being a dad out alone with his son. “You’re given less credit as a dad,” he said. “When a dad makes a mistake it’s often considered an issue of competency.”
To get the teaching job he wanted, he knew he had to be extra competent. He had to instruct and inspire at a high level in the classroom while managing his time to the minute to be home for his son.
“Through parenting you realize your strengths and weaknesses,” he said.
And for dads who don’t have the ability to control their time, he advised them to carve out a day every week where they’ll have complete ownership of parenting in the morning and at night. “The only thing you need to know is on this night I’m going to do this,” he said. “I’m going to give them a bath. I’m going to read to them. It takes the whole thought process out of it. You get comfortable doing it just as you would a job.”
That analogy could be inspiring. Thank you, Nokware, and welcome to The Company of Dads!
