“It’s a whole mixed bowl of good, hard, sometimes poor parenting,” admits Michael Iammarino, our Lead Dad of the Week from Kansas City. “I feel varying levels of success as a Dad. I know that the No. 1 requirement is to show up and do your best. I’m trying to do that all of the time.”
But, he added: “Sometimes it feels very lonely.”
Michael, who has two boys and two girls, from a few months old to age 7, works in commercial banking. He’s a busy guy – he joined one of our monthly online meetups from his car!
He’s also a guy who knows that what he does with his kids is what they’ll remember. He knows that because it’s what he remembers from his father, who passed away.
“Growing up my dad traveled a lot for work. I was sad about that. I just wish we had more time together. He would have rather been around us more, but it was the nature of no video conferencing and having to be there. When he was home, though, he was very intentional, and that’s something I was very grateful for.”
Michael also remembers his father acknowledging when he made mistakes: “I think it’s important as a human being to acknowledge everything isn’t perfect. What sticks out is just how he handled his responsibility.”
One thing Michael likes doing every night is asking his kids questions – since they ask him a lot of them! It usually starts with this simple one: Is there anything you want to ask me or tell me?
“I want them to know they can say anything to me,” he said. He certainly gets some wild ones: about Pokemon, about fictitious fights – of the shark vs dinosaur variety. But he’s laying the groundwork. “I’m waiting for when they start asking deeper questions,” he said. “Why do you have to go to work? Where did grandpa go? It’s always fascinating what they say to me.”
It’s also a lesson for any Dad wanting to know how to be connected to his teenagers and young adults – start early and built that bond with the easier questions. You’ll cherish it when the questions get tougher to answer.
Welcome, Michael, to The Company of Dads. Here’s to a great year of questions!
