Halloween is a day of dressing up as something you’re not – whether that’s silly, scary or something in between.
Yet too many Lead Dads wear a costume all year long, that of Event Dad – the casual dad who defers on care. We know it’s out of fear, of being seen as less masculine or less committed to work.
It’s not good for them, not good for their children or spouses and not good for their communities or companies.
So for Halloween, our Lead Dad of the Week is the Lead Dad in Denial. And I want you to know: I see you, I value you, I want to encourage you to take pride in what you’re doing. You’re super involved with your children. You’re supporting your wife or partner in what they’re doing. Those are good things.
But maybe you’re not the ally or advocate you could be in the office. Okay, you’re not a bloviating jerk. But are you silent around those guys?
Maybe you’re not the Lead Dad in your community that could start helping to change the assumptions at school or on the playground. You’re there because you want to be there and can be there. No excuses needed. No awkward jokes.
I’ve talked to you Lead Dads in Denial. What you say to me when it’s just us is the same thing I hear from other LDIDs.
“I want to be part of what you’re doing but could you keep my name out of it?”
“I really enjoyed talking to you for a Lead Dad of the Week piece, but now’s not the right time at work for it to run. Could we hold off?”
“Sure, I’ll send some photos. This was great.” No photos arrive.
So, on Halloween, when we dress up in silly and scary costumes, if we’re a Lead Dad in Denial, let’s think about taking off that costume, too, when the night is over.
