Realizing what parts of your work need to be when people are awake and what parts can be done when they’re asleep is one route to being a super-involved working dad.
“What I do has two parts,” said Tony Cotrupe, who once worked “8 zillion hours a week for J.P. Morgan Chase” and now runs Meliora Advisors. “One is the execution of projects, and that can happen when other people are sleeping. Two, the marketing of the business – that happens in the daylight hours when the kids are at school.”
Tony, our Lead Dad of the Week from Rochester, N.Y., does business valuations for small and medium-sized firms. It’s complicated, involved stuff that can take a long time to complete. It’s also cyclical. That combination allowed him to be the Lead Dad to his older daughter and boy-girl twins when they were young. It also allowed his wife, a toy safety expert, to travel extensively for work.
“I feel like I got lucky,” he said. “I was working remotely before people were working remotely. I remember an attorney friend called me and said what are you doing? I said I’m hitting infield, let me call you back.”
Tony’s father was a football coach and ran the youth programs in Utica, N.Y., so being involved with his own kids and coaching other people’s kids came naturally. He knew there were gender stereotypes that he was bucking but he chose to emphasize the positive – he was around his kids every day – and downplay any negatives.
“It was certainly different – I know all the moms, but I don’t know all the dads,” he said. “But then also there was the coaching aspect to it. I loved coaching. My dad made an impression on people he coached. I wanted to do the same.”
His children are now 23 and 21. “Looking back, everything I thought was a chore was actually a privilege,” Tony said. “I say I miss my kids. People say where are they? I say no, no, no – I don’t miss my young adults; I miss my kids. I wouldn’t do anything differently. The only thing is I’d pay more attention – and I paid a lot of attention.”
Welcome, Tony, to The Company of Dads!
