Could being a firefighter in a warzone make you a better father and husband?
It sounds extreme, but Pete Arthmire, an academic dean at a private school in Greenwich, Conn., credits his time fighting fires in Iraq as something that changed his view of life, work and all the ups and downs of parenting.
“I was 30 years old, no wife, no kids,” he said. “That experience totally changed my whole perspective on life. I came back with a calmer demeanor than before I left.”
In the midst of one of his leaves from being in Iraq, he met his now-wife Maria, also a teacher. That was 18 years ago this 4th of July. They have two boys, 10 and 6.
As someone who is parenting boys as a father and educating them as a school administrator, Pete makes sure to pause and appreciate the ah-ha moments, however big or small. “I really like seeing the growth, seeing the moment when they get it. I like when they’re asking me for help and I’m giving it to them. It’s teaching lessons.”
(As for what he doesn’t like about fatherhood, that would be laundry and the car line for school pick-up.)
And he still draws on those years fighting fires in a warzone. “My experience in Iraq built my patience, built my empathy,” he said. “If a kid drops a waffle, it’s not the end of the world. I’m as empathetic as I can be to my children.”
That’s a good lesson for all of us. Welcome, Pete, to The Company of Dads.
