The decision to jump into being a full-on Lead Dad isn’t always easy. Nor is the need to pivot at times and recalibrate your decision. But one thing is certain: regret is one emotion dads shouldn’t have.
Daniel McDermon, a father of three in Brooklyn, N.Y., made what he thought was a calculated decision when he decided to become a Lead Dad.
Then an editor and writer on the culture desk of The New York Times, Daniel took a buy-out in 2017. His kids were 2, 4 and 6. At the time, his salary was going to childcare and a bit more.
“My wife has always been the lead earner,” he said. “If I could earn that little bit more freelancing, I could be the caregiver.”
It worked for two years, where he juggled care and writing. It also allowed his wife to travel and not worry about who was at home. But then his uncle got sick and after that came Covid.
“My kids were at home for a year and a half in New York City schools,” he said. “Post-pandemic, it was hard to get back into the rhythm of things.”
Now that his kids are 9, 11 and 13, he is looking to get back to work – happy, even, to go into an office, since Covid has reset where and how his wife works.
The search has not been easy, but he has no regrets.
“I could look back and say that it might have been an error to take the buy-out and leave the Times, but I would have missed out on all the other stuff,” he said. “I was a baseball coach. I was a Scout leader. We took trips. I’ve been very involved, and I would have missed that. I was the one dad who was very involved at school.”
Now he’s ready to consider other options. “I had a great experience doing journalism,” he said. “I could see myself pivoting. I’ve always enjoyed teaching roles. I want to be involved in something useful, something that is challenging and makes use of my skills.”
Welcome, Daniel, to The Company of Dads. Many employers would be lucky to have your world view, empathy and, of course, your skills. We wish you well!
