Do Lead Dads still get to take trips with their friends? It was a question from a senior female executive and it remains unforgettable. She asked it in earnest – as someone whose husband was more Event Dad than Lead Dad – and I answered it honestly. (Yes, just with more planning.)
Our newest Lead Dad of the Week, Jordan Coopersmith, from Orange County, Calif., was the answer to that question. He and I met in the wild – on a golf trip organized by The Golfers Journal at The Tree Farm in Aiken, S.C. It was two, great days of fun. (My partner was my wife’s corporate attorney, who has become my friend and golf buddy. Let that sink in.)
When we started talking about what I did, Jordan realized he was a Lead Dad. An account executive at Cisco, the software giant, he has a job he loves and is passionate about sales strategy. His wife Laura is a pediatric neuropsychologist; she’s booked out months in advance doing evaluations on children who might have dyslexia, apraxia, autism or some other neurocognitive challenge.
Families are arranging their schedules around her, so she has close to no flexibility when their two daughters, 9 and 7, get sick. Moving her schedule around would radically disrupt a child’s ability to get needed services.
So Jordan stepped up, and in the process has shown that a corporate job can still afford the ability to be a Lead Dad. “She has very little flexibility in moving things around,” he said. “For her to cancel a session, she only does it if she’s sick or absolutely can’t do that. For me it’s easy to move my schedule around or take a call with a client in the car. She can’t do that – she has to be HIPAA compliant.”
Having flexibility within Cisco has allowed Jordan to focus on what needs to be down in the moment – and then make plans in quiet office time for the more strategic work. It’s also benefitted Cisco: he’s been there for 11 years and continues to perform at a high level.
“It started when she finished her doctorate and got her internship, which was in San Diego, 45 minutes away,” he said. “She was gone five days a week, so that was the start of it. Since then, it’s scaled down. But she’s earlier in her career and I’m trying to support her. I enjoy it. You come into these roles, and they fit. I don’t mind doing it to support her.”
Jordan thinks of the parenting roles he and his wife have as complimentary. “She’s a psychologist and connects with them emotionally in a different way than I do,” he said. “My primary role is making sure the house runs and doing the shopping and the laundry.”
Being a Lead Dad has made him better with his colleagues at Cisco. “It’s helped me connect with female colleagues who take on more of the burden at home,” he said. “I can relate to my coworkers who have kids.”
The downsides are no different than what many dual-income working parents have to juggle. And the fear is the same, too: that there will be overlapping meetings that can’t be moved or travel that can’t be changed.
“When we’re having a team event out of the office, I have to coordinate with Laura to make sure she can pick up the kids,” he said. “The majority of time I can plan my days. I do my best to look at a calendar and say this night I won’t be here. Fortunately, her mom lives a block from us.”
His takeaways from his role aren’t specific to work or even parenting; they’re about showing up and being ready. “I work on accepting that family is the most important thing, jobs can come and go, and patience is something I’m still working on,” he said. “The work is always going to be there. It’s going to be there tomorrow; it’s going to be there Saturday.”
And that might just mean some weekday golf with his girls!
Welcome, Jordan, to The Company of Dads.
