“Wait, can I drive myself to the barn today?”
The answer was yes, legally, she could. But somehow it hadn’t crossed my mind that I wouldn’t be taking her.
Our oldest daughter had just passed her drivers test. She had a pink slip that when paired with her learners permit allowed her to drive.
So, yes, she could drive herself all around now.
But somehow her driving herself to something we’ve been taking her to for the past 11 years hadn’t crossed my mind.
Sure, I’m thrilled for there to be a parking space for her at school so she can drive herself and her sister back and forth. Car line is not something any of us will miss, particularly at their school where it’s a half hour of waiting on a good day.
But as my wife, our daughter and I ate our celebratory lunch, they could tell I was in a bit of shock.
Like most adults that I know, I got drove home from my driving test and immediately went to round up some friends so we could go out. It was September and school hadn’t started yet. What an amazing feeling that freedom was.
Our kids are more sheltered. The state has set curfews; it’s also created rules on when she can driver her siblings – 6 months – and her friends – a year from now. And all of these rules are meant to keep teen driving safer.
Driving to the barn was so tame. I’d gone out with friends. My wife had to drive home for downtown Atlanta at rush hour in the family’s Suburban after she got her license. I’m scared by thought of doing that now as an adult.
And so she drove herself.
And I did a check.
Was I there as much as I could be? Yes.
Did I engage with her in our years of driving together? Yes.
Did I watch her ride and do her other activities? Yes, though there were phone calls and texts from the viewing room.
Would I have done anything differently? Not really – save maybe a photo of the last time I drove her to the barn.
I’ve been fortunate. I put my hand up to be the Lead Dad in 2013 and I embraced it. My crazy calendaring skills – which annoy many members of my family – helped me be the main after-school parent while also being a journalist and author at a high level and later launching The Company of Dads. It worked for me.
And now it’s working for our oldest daughter who is doing the things kids are supposed to do. Getting her license and driving herself around town.
What I’m waiting for now is the first time she drives past me in the car I’ve been driving her in since she was two!
