All parents want their kids to talk to them more, but too often it seems kids want to talk at just the time when parents are tied up with work or otherwise unavailable. We’re at work; they’re at home. We’re at home; they’re out with their friends. You get it.
Anthony Legette, our Lead Dad of the Week from Gaithersburg, Maryland, struggled with this like any other dad. But instead of accept it, he found a work-around. When he was building his career in logistics, he was often on the road and away from his wife and three children during the week. He physically couldn’t be there for in-person talks, let alone spontaneous conversations.
So he came up with “Free Form Fridays”. Every Friday, everything would be on the table. No judging, no scolding. Just say what’s on your mind and let’s discuss it.
It worked.
“Speak about what’s on your mind,” Anthony told his kids. “I said, ‘You won’t get everything you ask for, but I’ll hear your concerns’. They also knew they wouldn’t get in trouble for anything they told me. I’d say, Here’s what I think. This is my opinion. Now if we set a rule and you break it, that’s a different story.”
He and his wife participated as well. “They heard us. They learned that no parent is perfect. We have our own flaws. As they got older, I asked was there any time you felt embarrassed or any other way? They said no.”
His kids are now 35, 24 and 26. And that openness with them early on has helped his career. Now a TK and Tk in Bethesda, he said. “You can’t lead people if you don’t listen. You lead by example but are you listening? People want to be heard. You have to listen and hear them out. Give them that empowerment to speak freely and be heard. And then respond to them in a timely matter.”
Wise words, at home and at work. Welcome, Anthony, to The Company of Dads.
