From the outside, being a Lead Dad who devotes all of his time to his family can seem easy. But as a man taking up this role full-time – and leaving behind the work contacts that shaped you to that point – it can mean a loss of identity. And that’s before you find yourself as the rare father on playgrounds filled with moms and nannies who aren’t always welcoming.
Jason Daniel, our Lead Dad of the Week from Chicago, stepped into that role when his twins were born, and he powered through it. Not always easy but plenty of lessons to share. His wife Janet Hayes had a career on the rise at Nike. (She’s now the CEO of Crate & Barrel, after being the president of Williams-Sonoma and before that, Pottery Barn Kids.)
Jason was happy to step away from his role at Nike and be there full time for their twins. He said, “There was never a moment when I wanted to go back. I absolutely loved every bit of it. I loved it as a concept and I loved what I was doing.”
That said, “There were probably in 18 years 10 melting down sobbing breakdowns caused by many things. Loss of identity. Resentment. Heavy stuff that goes into a marriage when these things happen.”
Now that their twins are in college, Jason is looking back and has some tips for guys embarking on his journey.
One, his sanity and his schedule synced up. “I had them on a crazy schedule from day one,” he said. “That was mostly for my mental sanity. It was hard but I loved the work.”
Two, he threw himself into volunteering and found a hobby that is now giving him a post-Lead Dad career. “I was heavily involved in the school. I was head of the board. Involved in every sort of club. I spent a lot of time in and around the school,” he said. “I also played a lot of tennis.”
And tennis has led to him building Broken String Tennis, an apparel brand, that is set to launch soon.
Three, and probably most important, he communicated a lot with his wife. “She’ll be the first to tell you that I have no idea how hard it is to be the mom and not really be in it because of society’s pressure,” he said. “My advice is to communicate because you don’t recognize how hard this it. She didn’t understand what it’s like to be in my shoes. To be in it it’s tough. I tried to leave my imprint on them.”
Honesty and openness is at the core of what we do. So it’s a pleasure to welcome Jason Daniel to The Company of Dads. Kudos to you!
