Over the break my oldest daughter asked what my dream car was. It got me thinking of how as working parents we have to carefully define our hobbies, if we’re going to be good as parents and partners and workers.
Before I could answer her, she laughed at me. She knew I didn’t have one – or at least not a dreamy one.
I drive a Ford Expedition and love it. It’s a tad big for parking, but it fits everyone, it’s comfortable, and it has Sirius XM.
My second favorite car is what will become her first car, a boxy 2011 SUV that I’d happily drive forever, though the radio is a very dated.
I have a hobby and a way to relax alone for sure. But I really only have one because years ago I realized I needed to narrow down the hobbies I did on my own. I do lots of things with my family – skiing, playing pickleball and other racquet sports, biking – but just not as buddy trips.
My hobby is golf – though two of my three daughters have gotten into it, which is amazing. There was a time when I thought of doing other time consuming hobbies – ski trips and a paddle tennis league were at the top of the list – but they didn’t fit with the type of dad I wanted to be.
Now, I use golf for fun and competition and escape. I also use it for solace, for clearing my head.
I’ve had a lot on my mind the past two weeks, both good and bad. And yesterday, I realized it was the warmest day I was going to have in Connecticut for weeks. I needed to get outside and get some fresh air.
So, on a day when it was 42 degrees and sunny but with a feels-like temp of 31, I grabbed a set of golf clubs – like car nerds I have several – and went out to walk as many holes as I could in an hour. I played seven, by skipping around a bit.
I played the 6th one really one. But it was the 7th one that made me appreciate some time alone. Yes, that’s my golf ball sitting on top of the frozen pond. (The wind blew it – I swear!)
What mattered was that when I came back, just about an hour later, my head was clear and I was ready to be the best Lead Dad I could be again. Even if I didn’t drive a cool car.
