If you’re going to succeed – and ultimately be happy – as a Lead Dad, you get one hobby.
Event Dads can master more and dabble in many, from racquet sports and golf, to skiing and boating, to running or cycling with some occasional hunting and a fishing trips thrown in here or there.
As a Lead Dad, picking one is the best route to happiness. You get to focus on your family and your work and, hopefully, achieve some level of mastery or joy in your hobby. You’re not trying to add in too many fun things that will just create stress.
I chose golf after clinging to others a bit too long. (Lead Dads aren’t perfect!) And this year, I got to fulfill a dream and finally play Shinnecock Hills, which will host the U.S. Open next year. It was thrilling – and very hard. This photo was taken from the porch looking out across to the Peconic Bay.
But Shinnecock wasn’t the best round I’ve played this year. That round happened this week when my oldest daughter and I played 9 holes down the street from our house.
What was great about it?
1) The space midweek. It felt like a gift, just be out there, the two of us. None of my friends. None of her sisters either. Having multiple kids, I cherish all one-on-one time.
2) Her willingness to be there with me. She likes when we play golf, but it’s not a passion of hers. I’m grateful that at 16, she’ll spend a summer afternoon with me.
3) The time to ask questions and listen. It’s easy for talks between kids and parents to feel more like calendar management than anything meaningful. But with two hours on the course plus an hour before for lunch, that’s a chunk of time ripe for asking bigger questions and listening to each other’s answers.
4) Driver’s ed! “Is driving a golf cart like driving a car?” “Um, kind of.”
5) Treats. I’m not one for sweets but when your daughter brings you a little cup of M&Ms, can you say no?
I’ll still be grateful for invites to amazing courses. (If you need a fourth at Pine Valley or Augusta National, I’m free that day!)
And I’ll still enjoy my time playing with my friends, sharing stories, seeking support, competing.
But when I tally up the great rounds of the summer, none will replace the 9 holes with my daughter.
